Marriage according to the Most High is about a man taking on the responsibilities of becoming a husband and a woman taking on the responsibilities of becoming a wife. This must be learned because all men are not marriage material neither do all women make good wives. This is a truth that we often find out much too late. This is a reality that must be explained with the Holy Scriptures.
Hebrews 13:4: “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Marriage is honorable in the sight of the Most High and the sexual union between the husband and wife in bed is not defiled. Whoremongers are those that have sex with this one and that one, never bound to anyone. Adulterers are those that dedicate themselves to a spouse then break the commitment of marriage they made. The Most High will condemn both the whoremonger and adulterer with either plagues of sickness, death or both.
Christ taught us that marriage was one of the first laws established by the Creator for man.
Matthew 19:4: “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,”
5: “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?“
A man leaves his fathers house to establish his own house, becoming one flesh (in mind both agreeing) and body (sexually).
6: “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
The marriages the Lord joins together are not to be put asunder; end in divorce, by either nosey family members or jealous friends which often happens today.
Seal Marriage In Writing:
The marriage certificate actually has it’s origin in our history. It was a record kept by parents and later kept by the government’s i.e. Rome. The government kept it for census reasons. Tobit 7:13: ” Then he called his daughter Sara, and she came to her father, and he took her by the hand, and gave her to be wife to Tobias, saying, Behold, take her after the law of Moses, and lead her away to thy father. And he blessed them;“
14: “And called Edna his wife, and took paper, and did write an instrument of covenants, and sealed it.”
Marriage Vows:
Today a paid minister or justice of the peace asks you to recite a few lines from book assumed by some to be the bible. It’s not. “Do you take this person to be your lawful wedded spouse? To love and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health for better or for worse, till death do you part?” And you reply “I DO.” LIES! Because next week some of you are divorced.
Tobit 8:4: “And after that they were both shut in together, Tobias rose out of the bed, and said, Sister, arise, and let us pray that God would have pity on us.”
5: “Then began Tobias to say, blessed art thou, O God of our fathers, and blessed is thy holy and glorious name for ever; let the heavens bless thee, and all thy creatures.”
6: “Thou madest Adam, and gavest him Eve his wife for an helper and stay: of them came mankind: thou hast said, It is not good that man should be alone; let us make unto him an aid like unto himself.”
7: “And now, O Lord, I take not this my sister for lust but uprightly: therefore mercifully ordain that we may become aged together.”
8: “And she said with him, Amen.”
The wedding vow according to the scriptures was a prayer led by the husband as head of the house. He asked for mercy, acknowledging marriage was a law ordained by the Lord. The husband praised the Lord for giving him a wife as an aide meaning the two are like minded. The husband also confesses to the Lord that lust is not the foundation of his union and asks that both he and his wife be blessed to grow old together. And the wife agrees by saying its true-Amen.
A Husband And Wife That Agree:
Ecclesiasticus 25:1: “In three things I was beautified, and stood up beautiful both before God and men: the unity of brethren, the love of neighbors, a man and a wife that agree together.”
Three things are beautiful in the sight of the Lord and men; brethren unified in Christ, having one mind in the Lord, neighbors that have that sincere love for one another and a man and a wife that agree together in the Most High. So your spouse must love the Most High and Christ as you love the Most High and Christ.
Remember, unmarried friends often spoil a marriage, the hanging out and neglect of the spouse is notorious for a leading cause to ruin.
Ecclesiasticus 40:23: “A friend and companion never meet amiss: but above both is a wife with her husband.”
The Lord let’s us know it’s good to have friends but a wife with her husband is greater than any friendship.
In today’s society sex is everywhere and there are many temptations that pull on individual lusts.
1 Corinthians 7:2: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
According to Leviticus 18 fornication includes adultery, whormongering, incest, bestiality, homosexuality etc.and the Lord reveals that one way to avoid these various forms of sexual perversion is to get married!
1 Corinthians 7:3: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”
Due benevolence is sex. [Duty of marriage Exodus 21:10]Sex is an important part of marriage. The husband is commanded to have sex with his wife and likewise the wife is commanded to have sex with her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:4: “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
The Sexual relationship in a marriage is so important that the wife’s body belongs to the husband and the husband’s body belongs to the wife.
1 Corinthians 7:5: “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
Now both the husband and wife are commanded not to defraud/withhold sex from one another. The threat of withholding sex is not to be used to manipulate your spouse. That is not of the Lord. Both partners are to refrain from Sex if it is agreed upon for the purpose of prayer and fasting. Husbands and wives must agree and of course consider one another’s health. If your mate is sick or bedridden your spouse needs to be understanding. Hence prayer and fasting are observed to bring forth healing to the mate for an example. Afterwards, the husband and wife are commanded to come together again sexually, so that Satan does not tempt you into committing fornication because of your lack of sexual restraint. Marriages that do not have a healthy sexual relationship often are a result of, or result in, sexual infidelity.
Do You Want A Good Wife?
Don’t worry, they’re out there, but you need to acknowledge the woman the Lord has given you of your people.
Proverbs 5: 18: “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”
Proverbs 5: 19: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
The love between you and your wife is to be ferverent /hot.
Proverbs 5: 20: “and why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?”
You should not be ravished and embraced by a strange woman (a woman outside of your people outside of keeping the commandments.) Many times men wander from their own people to another people seeking comfort seeking love.
Ecclesiasticus 36:22: “The beauty of a woman cheereth the countenance, and a man loveth nothing better”
Every man wants a beautiful wife by his side and to wake up in the morning to a beautiful smile. A good looking woman makes a man happy, and a man loves nothing better than a beautiful woman. Our Forefathers wives were beautiful and faithful to the Most High. For example Sarah, Rebekah, and Susannah etc.
Ecclesiasticus 25:2: “A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband, and he shall fulfill the years of his life in peace.”
A virtuous woman is one that obeys the commandments of the Lord thereby honoring her husband as her head.
Ecclesiasticus 25:3: “A good wife is a good portion, which shall be given in the portion of them that fear the Lord.”
This proves the good wife you desire shall be given to you only if you fear the Lord; obey Christ, by keeping the Most High’s commandments. Remember, every man wants a wife like Sarah and of course every wife wants a husband like Abraham.
If you truly fear the Lord you shall have a good wife because the Lord will direct your ways. By studying the scriptures and prayer you will be able to discern whether or not she is the good woman for you.
Ecclesiasticus 25:4: “Whether a man be rich or poor, if he have a good heart toward the Lord, he shall at all times rejoice with a cheerful countenance.”
Don’t worry about your financial status, that’s not what determines whether or not the Lord blesses you with a good wife. Having that sincere joy in obeying the commandments in Christ is the bases for receiving that virtuous wife you desire.
Ecclesiasticus 25: 8: “Well is him that dwelleth with a wife of understanding, and that hath not slipped with his tongue, and that hath not served a man more unworthy than himself:”
A man does well married to a wife that understands the Most High‘s laws but be warned not to slip with your mouth. Many times when problems arise men often say things they later regret. Words hurt, remember that. Verbal abuse like threats and insults are definitely a form of domestic violence this is another factor that causes a marriage to decay. Also men, make sure not to fellowship or befriend a man that does not keep the commandments. That old friend that can never keep a woman will some how destroy what you have.
We’ve mentioned the term “virtuous woman” several times so let’s explain it scripturally. A young man named Lemuel was becoming king and desired a wife. His mother spake as the oracles of God and advised him on what to look for.
Proverbs 31: 10: “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
Proverbs 31: 11: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
A virtuous woman is trusted. How many men worry while at work or home about what their wife is doing? That’s a stressful unnerving life. You end up with grey hair and wrinkles. Your wife should be able to travel far and you have no fear regarding her conduct and conversation.
Proverbs 31:12: “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
A virtuous woman will do good to her husband and never evil all her life.”
Proverbs 31:13: “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
A virtuous woman willingly works and has skills.” This also proves she’s not a gold digger, desiring to leech off you but rather she wants t build something wit you. She does what she can to help support the family.
Proverbs 31:14: “She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.” Proverbs 31:15: “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens.”
A virtuous woman does not lie in the bed all day. Things need to be done and she does it.
Proverbs 31:16: “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.”
To consider a field and buy it requires learning and education proving a virtuous woman is not an ignorant woman.
Proverbs 31:17: “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” Proverbs 31:18: “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”
Proverbs 31:19: “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. “
Proverbs 31:20: “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”
A virtuous woman is kind and giving to those that have need.
Proverbs 31:21: “She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.”
A virtuous wife prepares for the winter; scarlet is beautiful warm clothing she has for the entire family, so when the cold season comes she’s prepared.
Proverbs 31:22: “She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.”
The virtuous wife is mindful of her clothing. She is decked beautifully, not sloppy, not dirty she cares about her appearance. She is mindful of the scriptures that say a man loves nothing more than the beauty of a woman.
Proverbs 31: 23: “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”
Proverbs 31:24: “She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”
Proverbs 31:25: “Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”
She is clothed wit strength and honor, so she patiently takes care of business and is honorable.
Proverbs 31:26: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
A virtuous wife understands the scriptures and opens her mouth with wisdom. Therefore she does not lie or gossip to bring shame to herself and family.
Proverbs 31:27: “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:28: “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”
Her children are taught the scriptures and are in the habit of asking blessings upon there mother; her husband also compliments her. Husbands please remember to praise her, some times wives feel taken for granted “he doesn’t appreciate me, he never says thank you or things like that”.
Avoid This Type Of Wife!
Ecclesiasticus 7:26: “Hast thou a wife after thy mind? Forsake her not: but give not thyself over to a light woman.”
No matter how physically attractive she is, a light woman is evil and dumb because she is disobedient to the scriptures. She’s a burden, a drunkard, a gossiper and a whore just for example. Don’t give yourself to her.
Ecclesiasticus 26:7: “An evil wife is a yoke shaken to and fro: he that hath hold of her is as though he held a scorpion.“
Marrying an evil wife is troublesome and is like holding a scorpion, a poisonous creature that will sting you to death.
Ecclesiasticus 26:8: “A drunken woman and a gadder abroad causeth great anger, and she will not cover her own shame.”
How many men married that good looking woman then realized the mistake they made. This good looking woman is a drunk and gossips about everybody causing problems and grief in your life.
Ecclesiasticus 26:9: “The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids.”
Many men don’t realize whoredom is shown in a woman’s eyes. The lustful squint of her eyes going from eyes to crotch caught you, and while courting she’ll look at other men intently as you’re in conversation with her.
Ecclesiasticus 26:23: “A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man: but a godly woman is given to him that feareth the Lord.”
Lust drew you two together, so how can you avoid getting stuck with a wicked woman? Repent and apply the commandments to your life, look for godly attributes in a woman but to do this you must study the scriptures. How many men went to an ungodly church and married a demon!
Ecclesiasticus 26:24: “A dishonest woman contemneth shame: but an honest woman will reverence her husband.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:25: “A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; but she that is shamefaced will fear the Lord.”
Ecclesiasticus 26:26: “A woman that honoureth her husband shall be judged wise of all; but she that dishonoureth him in her pride shall be counted ungodly of all.”
Today society is filled with prideful women. Meaning ungodly women that set themselves over the husband refusing to let him be the man he is meant to be. Their pride may stem from a higher education or financial status or something else that keeps them from applying God’s laws in their marriage. These marriages also end in ruin.
Ecclesiasticus 26:27: “A loud crying woman and a scold shall be sought out to drive away the enemies.”
A big mouth woman and a scolder (an abusively critical woman) is only needed to drive away your enemies.
Proverbs 21:9: “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”
It’s better to live on a roof in a corner in peace than in a large house with an argumentative woman.
The Most High declares punishment for men that are whoremongers and the same punishment are declared for women.
Ecclesiasticus 23: 22: Thus shall it go also with the wife that leaveth her husband, and bringeth in an heir by another.
How many talk shows do we see where spouses take paternity tests and discover the child was fathered by another man. And the woman runs off stage crying because she’s busted. Infidelity is rampant among our people.
Ecclesiasticus 23:23: “For first, she hath disobeyed the law of the most High; and secondly, she hath trespassed against her own husband; and thirdly, she hath played the whore in adultery, and brought children by another man.”
Ecclesiasticus 25:23: “A wicked woman abateth the courage, maketh an heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress maketh weak hands and feeble knees.”
A wicked woman does not comfort her husband in times of need, whether it’s financial or health related. She depresses her man so much putting him down, insulting him gossiping about him to his own children, friends and family making him believe he is nothing, no good, and a natural born loser until the man truly believes that he is. Not only can this man not function in society, he can not function in the bed room and who could blame him? Please avoid this type of woman.
Do you Want A Good Husband?
Likewise women, there are some good men out there that will make you a wonderful husband but you too must know what to look for. You’re busy running from the snaggle tooth, run over shoe brother with bad breath and we understand, but remember this scripture;
Ecclesiasticus 11:2: “Commend not a man for his beauty; neither abhor a man for his outward appearance.”
Like men, women also get caught up in looks. They marry the wavy haired, muscularly fit man with the Porsche. In all too many cases he turns out to be abusive, bi-sexual, a whore or worse. Maybe it was the guy taking the bus with the not so wavy hair that you and your girlfriends laughed at, that would have been Mr. Right for you.
Proverbs 12:8: “A man shall be commended according to his wisdom: but he that is of a perverse heart shall be despised.”
The Lord determines a man according to his applying the commandments to his life: but a man that refuses the commandments is perverse and hated.
Women want a husband like faithful Abraham but she herself must be like faithful Sarah.
Genesis18:18: “Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?“
19: “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.”
Women, the Lord wants to give you a husband that loves you so much he’ll die for you.
The Apostle Paul commands husband everywhere to love and live like Christ.
Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;“
Verse 26: “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”
Just as the Word of God sanctified the church it will sanctify the relationship between husband and wife.
Verse 27: “ That he might present to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish”
Christ is looking for a glorious union between husband and wife according to the scriptures. The Lord wants a marriage that is not filled with hate, envy, adultery or any manner of evil. Any marriage that has those attributes is sinful/having many spots and wrinkles and must be cleansed.
Verse 28: “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
As a man loves and cares for his own body he has to have that same care for his wife. So the husband that is learning the scriptures and applying the scriptures should teach and nurture his wife.
Verse 29: “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”
No man hates himself. A man takes care of his own self to the best of his ability; a man will educate himself, buy himself clothing and feed himself even shelter himself so he must do the same for his wife. The husband is commanded to care for and teach and instruct his wife in spirit and in truth.
Christ both nourished and cherished the church by teaching the way to salvation through the Holy Scriptures and sacrificing his life for the Israelites.
Verse 30: “For we are members of his body of his flesh, and of his bones “
Meaning the church is married to Christ as a husband is married to a wife.
Verse 31: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
Verse 32: “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church“
The great mystery is the understanding of marriage in the bible. A man leaves his parents to join with a woman becoming one flesh/ one mind. This is the same way Christ descended from heaven joining himself to the church becoming one flesh/one mind. The mystery of marriage is based upon Christ loving the Church; the husband must love his wife the same way.
Verse 33: “ Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Avoid This Type Of Husband!
Tobit 10:10: “Then Raguel arose, and gave him Sara his wife, and half his goods, servants, and cattle, and money:”
11: “And he blessed them, and sent them away, saying, The God of heaven give you a prosperous journey, my children.”
12: “And he said to his daughter, Honour thy father and thy mother in law, which are now thy parents, that I may hear good report of thee. And he kissed her. Edna also said to Tobias, The Lord of heaven restore thee, my dear brother, and grant that I may see thy children of my daughter Sara before I die, that I may rejoice before the Lord: behold, I commit my daughter unto thee of special trust; wherefore do not entreat her evil.”
Parents gave their daughters to a godly man and gave him gifts to start with, reminding the daughter that she is to honor her husband’s parents according to the law “honor thy father and mother”. The daughter was given to the husband with a special trust promising not to treat the daughter evil. There are several ways a man treats a woman evil, some more obvious than others so let’s examine a few. One mistake women find out too late is that they wed a lazy man.
Proverbs 6:9: “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?“
10: ” Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:“
11: “So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.”
Ecclesiasticus 22:1: “A slothful man is compared to a filthy stone, and every one will hiss him out to his disgrace.”
2: “A slothful man is compared to the filth of a dunghill: every man that takes it up will shake his hand”.
Husbands must posses the characteristics of men that provide for their wives. It is unwise for women to marry a man that does not have a job or source of legal income. Men of the Lord must be able to provide for their wives and children.
2 Thessalonians 3:10: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”
Not only should you not marry a jobless man but if he has children from another woman that he is not supporting neither should you marry him. Women often deceive themselves into thinking this smooth talker will care for them and the children they’ll bear when he hasn’t and isn’t taking care of his previous wife and children.
1 Timothy 5:8: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
The next mistake women make is marrying that thug, that criminal, that hot head, that guy who can’t control his temper.
Ephesians 4:28: “Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.”
Some women love that thug life, steal what you got brother and end up in jail, guilty by association. Remember 1 timothy 6:9, 10 tell us the love of money is the root of all evil.
Proverbs 6:12: “A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth.”
13: “He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers;
That naughty person is a thug too, his forward mouth is an abusive mouth he insults his wife, calls her names, puts her down and does the same with others. To speak with his feet and teach with his fingers means he beats you to make you understand what he means.”
What If I Married A Believer?
Husbands and wives often marry for the wrong reasons as proven but eventually one spouse gets called by the Lord to repent and the other is stubborn, now what?
1 Corinthians 7:10: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:”
Divorce is frowned upon by the Lord except for fornication read Matthew 19.
11: “But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
If the marital problems are so bad and the wife feels she must leave, she is to remain unmarried or make up with her husband: and the husband is not to put away his wife.
12: “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.”
If any man repents and his wife has not, be patient with her if she desires to stay with you.
13: “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.”
Likewise if any wife repents and her husband does not, be patient with him especially if he desires to stay with you, don’t leave him.
14: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.”
The marriage is sanctified by the spouse that repents in Christ and your children are holy because the believer is able to teach the house about the Lord and his commandments.
15: “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”
If the unbelieving spouse wants to leave let him/her leave. You are not under the law of marriage in such a case because God has called you in peace.
1 Peter 3:1: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
Wives that have repented of their sins in the Lord are still commanded to be in subjection to their own husbands and not the pastor! So although your husband may not obey the word he may be won to the Lord by the conversation of his wife.
2: “While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”
The unbelieving husband will observe and hear your godly conversations together
Observing you keep the commandments.
3: “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;”
Women are warned though not to let their outward appearance be deceiving.
4: “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
The hidden man of the heart is Christ, giving women a meek and quiet spirit which is of great price in the sight of God.
5: “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:”
The holy women in old time adorned themselves in Christ being in subjection to their own husbands:
6:“ Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord: whose daughters the believing women are. The believers are to do well by keeping the commandments in Christ.
If they are not afraid, when trials and troubles come their way- going back into the world.
7: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
The same goes for the husbands, dwell with your wife according to the commandments and give honor unto your wife although she is weaker than you because of her lack of faith and as being heirs together in Christ so that your prayers are not hindered.
I pray this report gave you a better understanding of marriage.
